Are you on the right path?

Building resilience is all about learning from life’s events and moving forward with the right balance of optimism and positivity. How easy or difficult you find this depends on your outlook and attitude to life. Do you tend to take the path of limitation or the path of possibility? I find the StrengthscopeTM approach very helpful to determine this. It defines two distinct paths which over time can lead to very different outcomes for a person.

Those who tend to take the path of limitation focus on their weaknesses, spot the problems and reasons to avoid doing things, and dwell on negative emotions. Their sense of fear and self-doubt becomes a barrier to achieving the things they want to in life.

Those who choose the path of possibility identify opportunities, prioritise which are most important to them, and can see the solutions to any problems which need to be faced. They experience positive emotions and have faith in themselves and others, so feel confident they can achieve their goals.

Which path do you tend to take? Can you see a clear pattern in your own behaviour? If so, are you on the path you want to be? If not, there are ways to address this, so you can spring forward to a more fulfilling life.

To learn from life’s events we all need to remain open and curious. Kids are great at this, but adults tend to be less so. We learn more easily when we spend time focusing on the things we naturally enjoy and are good at, so we get better at them. If we regularly spend time on these activities it helps us feel confident, open up to new possibilities and be more creative in finding solutions and achieving goals.

If you feel you are on the wrong path, this may have been triggered by something. Do you know what makes you focus on negative emotions? Does a particular person, task or activity trigger you? How do you spot when you are in a self-limiting mindset, and how can you help yourself move from the path of limitation to the path of possibility?

How do you enable yourself to be open and curious? Photo Ante Ammersmit Unsplash

This is where the Resilience Wheel comes in. It is the cornerstone of resilience, and a little time spent regularly on each aspect can really help get you back on track. Each element plays an important part:

Purpose: Having clear goals is the starting point, so gaining clarity on what you want to achieve and why is crucial.

Confidence: This is all about overcoming the negative emotions you may have about your ability to achieve your goals. If you aren’t feeling confident, what can be done to overcome this sense of self-doubt?

Adaptability: Are you stuck in your ways, with a victim mentality and a closed mindset? When things are not going well or something bad has suddenly happened in our lives it can trigger a feeling of being trapped or stuck. We panic and can’t see a way out, and the temptation is to stick our heads in the sand and hope that the problem will go away. Building resilience can help overcome those feelings and see ways to take action to overcome adversity. We are more open and willing to adapt our behaviours and beliefs in response to an event or situation.  

Support: Adaptability is easier if we have built a good support network around us. Resilient people know it is essential to develop and nurture relationships with the right people, and sometimes walk away from the wrong ones, in order to stay on the right path. Some people are radiators, giving friendship, support and encouragement, and some are drains, sapping us of our time and energy while giving nothing in return. If you are a radiator yourself, offering support and encouragement to others, it is likely you will receive similar back, but if not, it may be time to say goodbye.

Meaning: How we think of and describe stories of our lives can impact how we feel about them and to what degree they impact our future. If something negative has happened to you, perhaps being made redundant or getting divorced, changing the narrative around it can help free you from the negative emotions that stop you moving forward.

Energy: Your overall health and wellbeing impacts how energised and positive you feel, so regular exercise, healthy eating and getting enough sleep are all factors in building resilience to set you on the path of possibility.

Of course we all have a baseline attitude to life, and whether you are pessimistic or optimistic is part nature part nurture. Studies validated by the Oxford Review have shown that even people who have grown up in very challenging life circumstances, for example in a war-torn country, can build resilience by regularly doing what they are good at and enjoy. It helps them build their resilience. If you are not doing what you enjoy and are good at regularly, whether that is part of your job, a hobby or a sport, it may be time to re-evaluate what you spend time on and try to build it back into your life.

You’d be amazed at the difference it can make.