Even a Resilience Coach can fall into bad habits...
Last month I was laid up in bed. I couldn’t do a thing - I was unable to walk, I couldn’t stand up, and I even had to deliver some of my workshops remotely from my bed. My back had completely gone.
I was annoyed with myself, because the situation I’d got into was largely my own fault, and could have been avoided if I’d practiced what I preach. The signs were there - the niggles, aches and twinges - but, due to my desire to keep working, I’d ignored them. Then one day, as I was driving the short distance home from my favourite coffee shop, my back went into complete spasm. I’m lucky I didn’t crash the car! I somehow managed to drive the two miles home, despite the acute pain. I opened the car door and crawled onto the driveway, where I lay in agony, reflecting on the mess I’d got myself into. Then, just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, it started raining! Soaking wet, I dragged myself into the house, up the stairs, and into bed, where I remained for the next ten days.
My bed-ridden status gave me plenty of time for reflection. How had I let myself get into this position? I hadn’t listened to my body, or chosen the right attitude. I had prioritised the wrong thing - work over my health - and as a result my work and health had both suffered. It just goes to show even a Resilience Coach can slip into the wrong mindset sometimes.
We are too often governed by “fear” and staying “safe”. Photo Jakob Balon Unsplash
As humans we have all evolved to take the path of least resistance. Millions of years ago this kept us safe - stay in the cave or you’ll be eaten by the big scary animal outside! In the modern world though, this attitude doesn’t serve us so well. We carry on with the same behaviour patterns because it’s easier than adopting new ones, even when those behaviours are not working for us. This is a common trap that many of my coaching clients have fallen into - and the same one I walked into when I chose to ignore that niggle in my back!
It’s a trap Leaders sometimes fall into when leading their teams. They know they need to address something which is no longer working well, or have a performance conversation with a team member who isn’t pulling their weight, but they put it off, because that seems like the easiest thing to do. This approach only stores up problems for the future though, as my back problems demonstrated.
It was only when the situation became too much to bear that I changed my behaviour and mindset. This is often the case with us humans, it’s how we’ve evolved. I realised that to get on the road to recovery I could apply what I teach others. I knew little incremental changes would set me on the path to recovery. I saw an osteopath, who advised me to go on a walk. Sounds simple enough, but in my current state, it felt like a mountain to climb.
Nevertheless, I tried. My first attempt was a painful shuffle of about 200 metres, but at least it was a start. Each day I built on this, walking a little bit further. I celebrated my small wins, and kept trying. I ate healthily, got enough sleep, and gradually things got easier. I’d got myself back on the right path and changed my mindset, which changed my behaviour.
I still have a way to go! Photo Pelayo Arbues Unsplash
My physio also set me an interesting challenge - to lie on the floor and touch my knee with my nose. He gave me some stretching exercises to do each day and I’m happy to say that through perseverance, the right mindset, and resilience, I’m nearly there!
Last weekend I rode my bike 32 miles - an achievement which seemed impossible just a few weeks ago. I feel this experience has taught me a valuable lesson, that despite all my knowledge as an experienced coach, I still have to make the choice to practice resilience consciously each day, otherwise I can slip into bad habits and end up on the wrong path.